Wedding fashion rules have become more flexible over the years, giving guests more freedom in their outfit choices. Today, brides might swap traditional gowns for sleek pantsuits, grooms might ditch classic tuxedos for pastel suits, and bridesmaids often choose dresses they can wear beyond the big day. This shift allows guests to have just as much creative freedom when picking their outfits.
However, before you pull together your look, there are a few things to keep in mind to be respectful of the couple and the ceremony. Some guidelines are straightforward, like avoiding certain colors, while others—like interpreting “semi-formal” dress codes—can be more complex. To help you navigate these fashion do’s and don’ts, we consulted lifestyle and etiquette expert Elaine Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol.
Read on for her expert advice on what not to wear, plus stylish alternatives that will ensure you’re dressed appropriately for any wedding. Plus, don’t forget to explore our picks for wedding guest dresses and rehearsal dinner outfits!
Avoid the Bridal Party Colors
Swann advises against wearing colors that match the wedding theme to avoid looking like an unofficial member of the bridal party. You can often get an idea of the wedding’s color scheme from the invitation or the couple’s website. If you’re still unsure, it’s perfectly fine to ask the bride or a bridesmaid for clarification.
Skip White (or Anything Close to It)
Wearing white to a wedding is an obvious no-no, but this rule also extends to shades that could be mistaken for white in photos, such as off-white, pale yellow with lace, or very light blue. According to Swann, lighter colors can photograph similarly to white, so it’s best to avoid them. Unless the couple specifically requests an all-white dress code, steer clear.
Instead: If you love neutral tones, opt for beige, champagne, or blush.
When in Doubt, Dress Up
Even at a “casual” wedding, you should aim for a look that’s a step up from everyday attire. Avoid sweats, shorts, jeans, or T-shirts. As Swann puts it, “If you have to choose between being underdressed or overdressed, it’s always better to be overdressed.” If you’re confused about the dress code, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone in the wedding party for guidance.
Pro Tip: If you want a more casual yet wedding-appropriate outfit, consider a simple but stylish dress that can be easily dressed up with accessories.
Dress for the Season
When planning your outfit, consider the season. Choose heavier fabrics like velvet for winter, florals for spring, and lighter materials such as cotton or linen for summer. This will not only keep you comfortable but also help you blend in seamlessly with the event’s atmosphere.
Elevate Your Pants Look
If pants are more your style, go for tailored trousers paired with a polished blouse or blazer. Pantsuits are a great option and can easily be styled for a monochromatic moment by coordinating the colors of your top and bottoms.
Make Subtle Statements
While it’s nearly impossible to “outshine the bride,” avoid wearing anything that will steal the spotlight in photos. Aim for something special that aligns with the event’s vibe—think cocktail dresses suitable for a wedding, not the club. Swann explains, “There’s a difference between a cocktail dress for a night out and one that’s meant for a wedding.”
Cover Up, When Needed
For weddings in religious venues or more conservative settings, be mindful of modesty. Swann suggests bringing a shawl or cardigan to cover your shoulders if the location calls for it. It’s always respectful to consider the formality of the space where the vows are exchanged.
Choose Understated Sparkle
If the wedding isn’t black tie, go for a low-key glitz. Instead of bold sequins, try delicate crystals, lace, or plissé to add a touch of glamour without overdoing it.
Watch Your Neckline
While it’s fine to stay on-trend, avoid plunging necklines that might seem out of place, especially if the wedding has religious elements. You don’t have to sacrifice style for modesty; opt for a flattering but modest V-neckline that adds sophistication without crossing any lines.
Avoid Ripped or Distressed Clothing
Save your ripped or distressed outfits for another occasion. If you like the idea of a little peek-a-boo skin, consider opting for trendy cutouts instead. Swann emphasizes that it’s all about finding the right balance between trendy and tasteful.
Follow the Dress Code
Always read the invitation for clues about the dress code. A tuxedo or ballgown may be perfect for a formal hotel wedding but would look out of place at a casual backyard gathering. Swann also suggests paying attention to the location and time of the event. “For a destination wedding, resort-style attire is usually appropriate. For evening ceremonies, think more formal with darker hues, beads, and sparkle,” she says.
Choose Shoes Wisely
Comfort is key, but flip-flops at the ceremony are usually not the best choice—unless it’s a casual beach wedding. If the event involves walking on grass, Swann recommends wedges or flared heels to avoid sinking into the ground. And don’t hesitate to ask the couple for details about the venue if you’re unsure about footwear.
FAQs
Q: Can I wear black to a wedding?
A: Yes, black is generally acceptable for most weddings, especially evening or formal events. Just be sure to add some colorful accessories to avoid looking too somber.
Q: How do I know if the wedding is formal or casual?
A: The invitation and venue can give you clues. A destination wedding suggests resort wear, while a formal hotel venue might call for more upscale attire. If you’re unsure, ask the bride or a member of the bridal party.
Q: Are open-toed shoes okay for a wedding?
A: Absolutely! Open-toed shoes are great for warm-weather weddings. Just make sure they’re appropriate for the venue—opt for flats or wedges for outdoor settings to prevent sinking into grass or sand.
